Love, Justine

April 14, 2024

Sunday

10:37am

I went to church because Daisy asked me to. There was a Mennonite Bluegrass band there, if you can fathom that. I kept tearing up. It’s hard to believe that God loves me when I keep ending up in prison, where there is seemingly no hope at all.

Radio:

“You stand in the light

Just to hit a new low…

Where was the passion

You needed the most…

You had a bad day…”

I’ve had a bad life.

7:52pm

So, when we went to meds in a thunder and lightning storm, there were five CO’s standing outside the med room checking the dates on everyone’s med cards. If you didn’t have a med card or it was expired, you could not get your medication. Inmates were freaking out and the CO’s were making fund of them. 

Yeah. 

Seizures and shit are really funny. Ashley Hernandez was the lady who died by suicide. 

Interview

“Empire”

Age: 27 years

Female

White/Mexican/Apache

From McKean County

History of trauma/abuse?

Good childhood. “Trauma started when I got into the street life at 17.” 

Sexual assault, shot in left leg.

History of addiction?

Shot up meth for 5 ½ years. Sober now for 4 ½ years.

History of mental illness?

Bipolar, depression, PTSD, anger

No meds

How much time have you spent incarcerated in your lifetime?

“I haven’t spent a birthday out of jail since I was 20.”

What happened?

Drug charges, gun charges, PWID

Had been incarcerated for 3 years

Sentence: 3-6 years

Just finished a 3 year bid

Paid lawyer– $15,000

Plea deal

How were you treated?

“Like shit. [The police] put my head through a wall. They kept calling me a ‘nigger-lover.’ They threw flash bangs on our bed. They broke a window above us. I was bleeding.” (McKean County SWAT)

What are your plans for the future?

“My biggest concern is being able to adapt to normal living. I want to be the best version of me for the people I love. The glamorous lifestyle isn’t everything.”

Graduated high school, got Certified Recovery Specialist certification at Muncy, went to Business classes here vonuntarily.

“I really want to use my CRS. I want to customize clothing and have the shop name be Loyalty Over Love. My friend already has the presses and stitchers and an LLC.”

Is prison rehabilitative?

“I’d be dead if I wasn’t here.”

What do you do for fun?

“I don’t even know anymore. What I used to consider fun isn’t healthy. My biggest goal is to make my parents proud and be a mother. I want to be a positive influence.”