Love, Justine

Muncy State Prison

April 25th, 2024

Thursday

9pm

Modified lockdown today, so that the entire compound can watch the PREA (Prison Rape Elimination Act) video (again). The rumor is that we’re getting like four Chef Boyardee raviolis for lunch. 

Oh good.

My video conference for today was cancelled because I waived the preliminary hearing. I hate waiving hearings. I always feel like it gives them the upper hand even more so than they already do.

Daisy and I were talking about county jails yesterday, and she said that Fayette County Jail is known as “Fayette’nam” because it’s so horrible. Tampons are $0.40/apiece and you can only order 10 per week, so you have to stock up or make your own tampons out of pads. Sounds like a recipe for Toxic Shock Syndrome to me. Imagine having 10 tampons for a whole period–five to seven days long–when you usually use six or eight per day. SO a box of 40 tampons would be $16.00 in Fayette’nam. 

Jesus Christ.

4pm Lockdown finally lifted.

8:09pm I sent Paul the two blogs I wrote and told him that I missed him. I don’t really know what else to say. I don’t think there is anything else to say. I asked him to please respond. I’m reading this book, “The Seat of the Soul” by Gary Zukov. It’s about the evolution of the human soul  and light and intentions and the Universe. I don’t really understand it, but it’s another one of those books that says that you create your own reality. I can never seem to wrap my head around that. 

I would never create this for myself.

Never.
I would never have chosen for my children to die and the others to be taken away. I would have never chosen prison for 10 years of my life or an abusive, horrible mother. I would have never chosen to go through so much pain, suffering, and horror that I became suicidal.

No.

I did not choose this for myself.

What about casualties of war? What about the Jews in the Holocaust? Do you think they chose that life? That death?

Why?

That doesn’t make any sense. 

Talk about vibrations and frequencies and light all you want, but I didn’t choose this.