Love, Justine

May 15th 2024

Wednesday

1:35pm

I called Motorcycle–he went to a choral concert at Tiger’s school in Port Allegany, and he saw her. He said she’s growing up to be “quite a little young lady.” He says she has my nose. I think her whole face looks just like me, but whatever. He said she was wearing a puffy skirt and a jean jacket.

I miss her.

But she doesn’t want to talk to me and she won’t reply if I write her. I can’t do anything about that.

May 16th, 2024

I don’t believe this. My mother says that she might pay for an attorney for me. I’m floored. She says he has to accept the case yet, so she’ll find out within a week. I’m speechless. I called Motorcycle to tell him and he was happy for me. I hope it works out. Her exact words were: “We might pay the fee for TJ. I called him and he and I commiserated about how Potter County deals with mental health cases. He seems nice.”

4:40pm 

My mother sent me another message saying that Paul’s sister is on a cruise, and that she’ll do my taxes when she gets back. Um…I gave her that paperwork in January. Ugh. Whatever.

I just read in “Unfair” by Adam Benforado that about 10 percent of people who are convicted of crimes in Germany and the Netherlands go to prison, and that number is 70 percent in the US. Also, in Norway, no one is given a sentence of over 21 years, no matter what their crime. 

Here’s what John McCain had to say about solitary confinement after he spent more than two years in isolation: “It’s an awful thing, solitary. It crushes your spirit and weakens your resistance more effectively than any other form of mistreatment.”

Also, according to the Department of Justice, over 200,000 inmates each year are raped or otherwise sexually assaulted in custody. And here’s some stuff about mental illness in prisons: There are upwards of three times as many mentally ill people in jails and prisons as in mental health facilities. Of these people locked up, only a third have received mental health treatment since they became incarcerated.

11am

So, I went to a group this morning, and they were talking about how Muncy was on the 10pm local news about the two women who hung themselves. I guess their families were on the program. I wish I had the internet. I’m assuming that both of the women died–nobody seems to know about the second one still.

Next, this book is talking about brutality inside jails and prisons. The Manhattan U.S. Attorney General in 2013 reviewed how the teenage population (692 inmates) at Rikers was faring, he found that 44 percent of them had been beaten by the guards at least once. 

These beatings resulted in serious injuries, such as lacerations requiring stitches, facial fractures, and head trauma. It’s the same across the country. 

Between 2010 and 2014 in Georgia, 34 people were murdered inside INSIDE state prisons.

Another interesting finding was that putting people in jails and prisons actually makes them less likely to follow the law, because people lose their respect for the law. Also, we now spend more on incarcerating people than we do on higher education, even though education prevents crime.

“There can be no equal justice where the kind of trial a man gets depends on the amount of money he has.”

–Justice Hugo Black

5:43pm

We haven’t eaten dinner yet. I’m wondering if I’m going to be able to make my 6:30pm phone call. The rumor is that they put somebody in a restraint chair and put her in the Hole. The 4:30pm count still hasn’t cleared. People are talking about eating each other. I didn’t eat lunch because it was fish. Nobody can use the phone and they’re pissed.

5:52pm

Count clear. We finally get to eat.

7:05pm

I talked to Gem earlier–she says that Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia qualify for an insanity defense in Pennsylvania, and that I should take these cases to trial. She doesn’t seem to realize that taking cases to trial is very expensive and might mean that I have to stay in prison longer than if I took a plea deal. Then again, if I won and was acquitted of the charges, I wouldn’t have three resisting arrests on my record. And two disorderly conducts. But if I lost, I could get a sentence of two to four years on each resisting arrest. Would it be worth it to fight the charges? If I had unlimited resources, yes.

But I have essentially no resources.

I talked to the boys, they went to see the movie “Migration” today. They both liked it. Superman tested positive for Lyme again and is on Amoxicillin. He had headaches for a few days and stayed home from school and my mother took him to the hospital for a blood draw. He was very brave, she said. She insisted on Lidocaine. I wonder what this new thing is for her that she is advocating for my kids. And for me. She never does that, especially for me. Maybe she’s had a change of heart. 

Whatever it is, I’ll take it.

It’s very confusing, though. She’s spent so long fighting against me, it’s hard to imagine her caring about me or being nice to me. 

Anyway, I talked to Motorcycle and he got my dirty blog. He said, “It sounds like you girls need some dick.”

Truer words were never spoken.

I wrote Gem, Motorcycle, Paul, and Superman and King.