Love, Justine

May 12th, 2024

Sunday

Mother’s Day

I slept all day. I didn’t even go to Med Line this morning. My mother messaged me a message from Superman and King: “Happy Mother’s Day. We love you. We have a soccer game at 10. We lost the last one. If we could send heart emojis, we would. We’re going to send you a Mother’s Day card.”

I’ll call them at 6:30pm if I can. I have to do trash right now. 

I called the boys. Motorcycle didn’t answer twice. Of course–he can’t be there for me when I’m having a hard time. That’s just crazy talk. Superman was trying to ride his bike up the porch stairs. King was pretty talkative–mostly about Roblox.

May 13th, 2024

11:12am

So I talked to my lawyer, the Public Defender. He didn’t help at all. He hasn’t talked to the DA about my charges, and he doesn’t know what the state is going to do with me. He was just then reading the Criminal Complaint while he was on the phone with me. He kept saying, “You don’t belong in [prison].” Yeah, well, help me out then!!

He asked me over and over again why this keeps happening to me and what is the cause. If I fucking knew, I wouldn’t fucking be here!!

FUCK!!

They all want me to have a nice little reason that they can package up with a cute little bow, and then they can tell the DA that this will never happen again. I don’t have a goddamn reason, sir. I don’t know if this will happen again. My guess is yes. Probably in two or three years. See you then, Dick.

1:35pm

I called my mother, who said that she would call Paul’s sister about my tax return. I have to find a way to pay for a different lawyer. I talked to Motorcycle and he said that he would talk to my work about my last paycheck. That’s not going to do it, but it would help. I wish my parents (or anyone) would just loan me the money and I could pay them back. I’m afraid to hope that there could be a better outcome for this.

3:27pm

Gem sent me a card! On the inside, she wrote, 

“You are the strongest person I know and I know you can get through anything! You got this! Love you so much!

Love, 

Gem

I don’t know about that, but I appreciate the sentiment. The actual card said something about thoughts and prayers and God.