Love, Justine

June 21st, 2024

Friday

3:54pm

I talked to Gem–she says my court date was rescheduled for 7/24.

Ugh.

Swiper did end up giving me a bag of coffee. Thank God for small favors. I wrote the boys a letter.

June 22nd, Saturday

Saturday

7:03pm

It freaking poured cats and dogs while I was pushing Ms. Moon to dinner, and then we had to wait in the hurricane at this tree, and then when we came out from dinner, the tree had fallen over! Meanwhile, this stupid CO was telling us to move further under the tree before we went to dinner! Fucking unbelievable.

Then we come out and the tree’s in the road.

Fuck.

Thank God no one was hurt.

June 23rd, 2024

Sunday

I’m now reading, “The Power of Positive Thinking,” by Norman Vincent Peale, and it says we should never think of the worst that can happen, only the best, and the best will happen.

I will do my best.

June 27th, 2024

Thursday

I found a Ms. magazine! (Summer 2024) And it has a story about mass incarceration in it! What are the odds?! Here are some excerpts:

“Roughly 191,000 women and girls are locked up in the U.S. today, making the country one of the top incarcerators of women globally. In March [2024], the Prison Policy Initiative released a report detailing where and why these women and girls have found themselves in custody.

• 53% of the 77,000 women in state prison were convicted of nonviolent drug, property, or public order crimes. 
• 45% of the roughly 7,000 girls confined in the U.S. are being held bu the immigration system.
• 61% of the 84,000 women held in local jails and 31% of the 16,000 women in federal prison have not yet been convicted of a crime.”

June 28th, 2024

Friday

Welp, the presidential debate was dismal. Trump lied a lot and Biden mumbled a lot.

Predictable.

I’m reading Neale Donald Walsch’s Conversations with God Book I again. It says you should thank God in advance for stuff you want to happen, as if you are already experiencing it. Like, if you want money, thank God for all of the money that you have, even if you don’t have any, and it will come to you.

Okay. I can do that.

It also says that you attract what you fear the most.

Hm.

June 30th, 2024

Sunday

7:12pm

The BET Awards are on. I’m having trouble caring about anything lately. I talked to the boys. They went on a bike ride on some trails in New York today. They sound happy. I dumped hot garbage on my foot today. I hate it here. I’m having trouble assigning any meaning or purpose to my life. It’s all struggle.

So much suffering.

Why?

For what?

July 4th, 2024

Thursday

Independence Day

There’s a new woman here we’ve named Methany Methica who goes to a Methodist church and methes around a lot. She seems to dance or bounce everywhere and is always happy. Strange, in a place like this.

July 5th, 2024

BLOG #6

Neither Here nor There: Musings from the Other Side (of the Razor Wire Fence)

Welp, I was looking in some magazines for some blog ideas, but all I found was some lady wearing sunny-side-up eggs over her nipples in a Cosmo, so I’ll stick to what’s going on around the Block.

A while ago, back when CO Dick ‘Em Down was here, he caught some women huddled in the corner over by the kiosk and screamed, “Get OUT of there!” One of the women yelled back, “There’s a bookshelf! There’s a bookshelf back here!” So he yelled in return, “GET OUT OF THERE! YOU WERE NOT BOOKSHELFING!!”

Later, Ree, for reasons unknown, shrieked, “Fuck this fucking shit!” to which CO Dick ‘Em Down responded, “Hey!”

“What?” Ree said innocently.

“I don’t know, but it sounded violent!” he spluttered.

Ree retorted, “What? Me? I’m not violent! I don’t even know why I’m here!”

Funny. 

And she’s here for snatching an old lady’s purse.

In other news, Daisy’s son Dan (the litter box pooper) apparently pooped this time in her mom’s driveway. His excuse was that, “It was just coming out!” and that there was no time for a toilet. 

Dan is seven.

Next, in case you didn’t know, here are some popular jail myths:

1. If someone puts cookies or candy on your pillow, you’re their bitch.
2. If you don’t finish a book, you’re coming back.
3. If you get the heel of the bread on your tray, you’re going home.
4. If you walk around the Yard three times with someone, you’re together.
5. If a guard drops their keys in front of you, you’re going home.
6. If you still have toenail polish on when you leave, you’re coming back.

Another popular question around here for no reason is, “Would you rather have ice cream flavored shit or shit flavored ice cream?

And yet another discussion was a request by Kimberly to describe our sex lives in a movie title. Popular responses were:

1. Sex in the City
2. Superbad
3. Gone in 60 seconds
4. Too Fast, Too Furious

In other Kimberly news, she has one dread, who we’ve named Dreadrick. He just hangs around. She also has a stray hair that has removed itself from her hairline. His name is Harry and he’s British. He’s just a wee lad.

In even more Kimberly news, here’s some Kimberly quotes:

1. “Hi, it’s me. Your conscience. I know we haven’t spoken in a while.”
2. “Opinions are like orgasms. Only mine matters.”
3. “WoooooOOOOOOW!!”

Also, my birthday was on June 10th, and the ladies here made me a whole cheesecake, complete with “Happy Birthday” written on it in melted chocolate, AND sang to me, AND made me a card. 

Best. Jail Birthday. Ever.

And for the grand finale, Morocco dragged Kimberly into the bathroom to show her her turd because it was so tiny and cute.

WoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!