Love, Justine

Muncy State Prison

July 6, 2024

Saturday

I had a wonderful dream last night that I was back with Dubya and happy. 

Very happy.

Daisy has been very unhappy. She’s here for at least another year and her mother isn’t doing well. She’s very sick and vomiting every day and doesn’t know why. She has five of Daisy’s seven kids, and Daisy is worried. She’s trying to get her two youngest to go to the Milton Hershey School, but now they don’t want to go.

Good quote:

“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

–R. Buckminster Fuller

INTERVIEW

“Cinnamon”

38yrs

White

Four children, ages 21, 18, 16, 12

Trauma? 

Yes–domestic violence as an adult, sexual abuse as an adult

Substance abuse?

Yes, cocaine–started in 2021 to cope with abuse

Arrested 1/2022 for attempted homicide, aggravated assault

What happened?

Cinnamon and her fiance had a store, fiance’s ex-girlfriend came over to hang out with his son. Ex-girlfriend ended up giving fiance oral sex. There was a fight, Cinnamon got a gun and shot ex-girlfriend, who lost a kidney, but survived.

Sentence?

6.5-13yrs, has been incarcerated for 2.5 years

On mental health meds, denies any mental illness

“If the incident didn’t happen, I would have overdosed or he would have killed me. He overdosed and died 10 months after my arrest.”

Is prison rehabilitative?

“I think I’ve changed a lot, I’m learning to cope with anger. In County I completed the TC (Therapeutic Community) Program. I never had rehab or trauma therapy. I don’t want to go back to doing drugs. Jail kind of saved me.”

What do you do for fun?

“I love to read, play cards. On the outside I’m always with my kids, hiking. I’m not the person they portrayed me as in the news. I have remorse. I’m a good person. I’m a soccer mom. The media said I was a menace to society and the court treated me like I was a monster.”

July 7th, 2024

Sunday

It is stiflingly hot and humid out. I’m glad for my $10 fan. I’m reading “A Grip of Time: When Prison is Your Life” by Lauren Kessler. Everyone here–or nearly everyone–is about to get their periods, and most seem miserable.

2:53pm

I talked to Paul. I’m so glad he’s my friend. Even when he’s depressed, he still cracks jokes and is very funny. And he cares about me. Sometimes I feel like there are very few people on this planet who actually care about me, but he’s one of them.

Earlier, CO Monster stopped by our cell and told us a lengthy story about how his 16-year old lifeguard son saved a 3-year old from drowning the other day. It was strange to be talked to by a CO like a regular person. When he left, Swiper said, “I think he likes you, Justine.”

Weird. 

July 10th, 2024

Wednesday

4:27pm

Daisy is losing her shit. Yesterday, Bambi and I got into a heated argument over who deserves welfare in this country, and Daisy got involved, and I thought she was going to come up off her bunk at Bambi. Bambi is a self-righteous, entitled asshole who stole almost $1 million from her work and knows nothing of being on welfare. She has no remorse for her crime and even stole from a second company while out on bail working for them.

Anyway, Daisy heard that some woman is putting money on her boyfriend’s books, and she also feels like she’s losing all contact with her children. This, combined with her mother’s failing health, is wearing on her something fierce, and she says she simultaneously feels helpless and wants to scream.
I can relate.

July 11th, 2024

Thursday

That reporter from Spotlight PA messaged me and wanted to know if she could use my name in her article. I told her she could. The article is about roasting in prison. It might be reckless to let her use my name, but I feel like it’s the brave thing to do. The prison might retaliate. 

We’ll see what happens.

July 12th, 2024

Friday

There’s an inspection here today, so there are even more rules than normal. No clotheslines hanging up, no smoking on the housing units, etc. I saw a couple of guys in suits when I went to Commissary. They must be sweltering. It’s got to be in the nineties outside. Daisy wants to make hooch since they’re supposed to be giving us plums, nectarines, and peaches this week. Sangria, she says. 

Hm. 

I’m not going to the Hole for that. They gave us green plums yesterday. 

Gross.

July 13th, 2024

Saturday

4:23pm

Daisy gave up on the idea of hooch, thank God. I dissuaded her. A bunch of people here, myself included, have a stomach virus. Diarrhea for everyone. 

Kill me.

Today I had to go to some wheelchair pushing certification class where we had to demonstrate that we knew how to do three things with the chair and that was it. We didn’t even have to push anyone in the chair. That and some stupid handout that told us to take ramps backwards, which is impossible here because the ramps are too steep. This after I’ve been pushing a wheelchair for four long months now. Some say we get a raise after the class, others say no. I don’t even know how much I get paid right now, I only know that it comes to $30/month. I’m guessing 20-some cents an hour.

My stomach hurts.

7pm

News–

Assassination attempt on former President Trump