Love, Justine

MUNCY STATE PRISON

October 13th, 2024

Sunday

BLOG # 10

Neither Here Nor There: Musings from the Other Side (of the Razor Wire Fence)

So, we’re already dreaming about our big plans when we get out of this Hellhole–Kimberly says the first things she’s going to do is suck a dick.

Aim high, sis.

Daisy says she’s going to get a pig that will ride shotgun with her wearing a gold necklace. His name will either be Notorious P.I.G., Piggy Smalls, or Kevin Bacon. 

And me, well, I just want to have normal bowel movements again. I went to the bathroom the other day to give Zuko her yarn, and then I went into a stall for what I thought was to take a pee. Out of nowhere, I had surprise diarrhea! Frantically, I courtesy-flushed so Zuko wouldn’t hear all of the gross noises, and then I zoomed out of the stall before the stink would spread. Zuko was washing her hands and didn’t say a word.

When I told Kimberly, she sighed and said, all starry-eyed, “I want a love like that.”

Ew. 

Then the following night, I dreamed that I had diarrhea in public in front of everyone, and woke up convinced that I had pooped my pants. 

I didn’t, thank God.

Speaking of dreams, there is now such a thing as being a “dream-whore,” where you dream of sleeping with everyone. Other prison terms include “hyper-wiper,” which is wiping in overdrive because prison toilet-tissue is only one-ply, and “clitty-litter,” which is what some people here call the toilet paper. 

In other news, Dausy has been insisting that I file off a giant callous on my big toe, because it is disgusting and deforming my foot. She yelled, “You need to cut off your toes, because they’re gross!” and then attacked the callous with a razor. She says now our friendship has reached a whole new level.

She also says her own big toe has grown its own set of pubes. 

Jail makes everyone gross, I guess. 

Speaking of gross, Kimberly says that the downstairs bathroom smells like a fish who shit himself before he died.

In Swiper news, she scratched off her right eyebrow in her sleep last night, so when I found a grape juice packet that Swiper had put in my orange-juice-only packet area on my bunk, Daisy exclaimed, “Rip her other eyebrow off, Justine!”

Super funny. 

Also funny, I talked to Paul today. Whenever the automated recording interrupts our conversation, he screams over it, “NOT NOW, LINDA!!” 

Anyway, he said he bought a cock ring and he’s going to wear it to come visit me at the Women’s Center. 

Fun Times.

In other news, I asked Kimberly where she was going to other day, and she said, “To wash my ass,” which prompted Daisy to start singing the song “Push It” except with the words “Wash It”–like this—

“Wash it!

Wash it good! 

Wh- wash it real good!”

And finally, Kelly orchestrated an AA meeting in the Day Room, so I attended. When I cam back upstairs, this not was on my bed from Daisy:

“I saw you smiling with your AA friends. 

I threw up!

And Kimberly too!

I think our friendship has reached a whole new level.