Love, Justine

MUNCY STATE PRISON

October 22nd, 2024

Tuesday

3:11pm

I spent all day doing TABE testing for college courses that I’m never going to take. 

I called my lawyer, who thinks that I should attend my revocation hearing, so I put in the paperwork for that. The on-site parole agent, Ms. Finnerty, should love that.

Also, I got my status sheet yesterday, and it said something about the “non-incarceration section,” in the Notes section, so I thought maybe I would be going to the Transitional part of the Women’s Center, but I’m not.

Hopes = Dashed

This means I can’t work and I can’t leave, when I get out.

Great.

That’s just great.

October 23rd, 2024

Wednesday

The Parole Board gave me a one year hit with no revocation hearing. 

Fuck my fucking life.

I’m going to max out here in June 2025, then I have to spend six months at the fucking Women’s Center.

Jesus fucking Christ.

October 29th, 2024

Tuesday 11:45am

I called my lawyer and told him about my parole hit for a year, and he said that when it gets closer to June, he can petition the court for a shorter stay at the Women’s Center.

Well, at least that’s something.

 I had to go see Psych today and tell them I wasn’t suicidal.

Ugh.

October 31st, 2024

Thursday

Our whole cell got into a huge fight because Swiper is a thief.

Happy Halloween.

November 1st, 2024

Friday

Everything here is so petty and stupid. It’s as if these women are reduced to the crappiest versions of themselves. Things are really awkward and uncomfortable in this room. 

I foresee more screaming today.

November 3rd, 2024

Book: 

What Happened to you?

Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey

P. 64-65

“So each day we are pulled to refill our reward bucket. 

The healthiest way to do this is through relationships. Connectedness regulates and rewards us. Yet when substance abuse is involved, it can push loved ones away. And many interventions used to deal with substance abuse are punitive and increase distress. The pull to use gets stronger. Disconnection, marginalization, demonizing, and punishing only make the problems of substance abuse worse. The cycle of dysregulation, self-medication, relational disruption, lack or reward leads to more substance abuse. 

And the spiral continues.

But here’s what’s interesting about drug use: For people who are pretty well-regulated, whose basic needs have been met, who have other healthy forms of reward, taking a drug will have some impact, but the pull to come back and use again and again is not as powerful. It may be a pleasurable feeling, but you’re not necessarily going to become addicted.

Addiction is complex. But I believe that many people who struggle with drug and alcohol abuse are actually trying to self-medicate due to their developmental histories of adversity and trauma.”

“It comes back to dysregulation. There’s always a pull to regulate, to seek comfort, to fill that reward bucket. But it turns out that the most powerful form of reward is relational. Positive interactions with people are rewarding and regulating. Without connection to people who care for you, spend time with you, and support you, it is almost impossible to step away from any form of unhealthy reward and regulation. This includes alcohol overuse, drug overuse, eating too much sweet and salty food, porn, cutting, or spending hours and hours on video games. Connectedness counters the pull of addictive behaviors. 

It is the key.”

November 5th, 2024

Thursday

Election Day

1:54pm

Commonwealth of Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania Parole Board

1101 S. Front St. 

Harrisburg, PA 17104-2519

NOTICE OF BOARD DECISION

Name: Jessica L. Kenley

Parole No: 046KH

Institution: SCI Muncy

Institution No: PE6201

AS RECORDED ON OCTOBER 23, 2024 THE PENNSYLVANIA PAROLE BOARD RENDERED THE FOLLOWING DECISION IN YOUR CASE:

RECOMMIT TO A STATE CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION AS A CONVICTED PAROLE VIOLATOR TO SERVE A RECOMMITMENT PERIOD OF 12 MONTHS.

12 MONTHS FOR THE OFFENSES OF RESISTING ARREST–2 COUNTS AND DISORDERLY CONDUCT–2 COUNTS

EVIDENCE RELIED ON: DOCUMENTED PB FORMS. AOPC/UJS DOCKET SHEET. STATE EXHIBITS. ALL EXHIBITS IN STATES EVIDENCE. 

REASONS: CONVICTION IN A COURT OF RECORD ESTABLISHED. EARLY FAILURE ON PAROLE/REPAROLE. NEW CHARGES SERIOUS/ASSAULTIVE. NOT AMENABLE TO PAROLE SUPERVISION. YOU ARE CONSIDERED A THREAT TO THE SAFETY OF THE COMMUNITY. 

WHILE CONFINED YOU MUST ABIDE BY THE RULES AND REGULATIONS OF THE INSTITUTION AND COMPLY WITH THE INSTITUTION’S PRESCRIPTIVE PROGRAM REQUIREMENTS AS WELL AS:

BE EVALUATED FOR MENTAL HEALTH, DRUG AND ALCOHOL, VIOLENCE PREVENTION AND THINKING FOR A CHANGE TREATMENT AND PARTICIPATE IN ANY TREATMENT DETERMINED APPROPRIATE.

YOU WILL BE REVIEWED FOR REPAROLE IN MARCH 2025.

THE BOARD IN ITS DISCRETION AWARDS CREDITY TO YOU FOR THE TIME SPENT AT LIBERTY ON PAROLE.

PAROLE VIOLATION MAX DATE: 06/26/2025

MAILED ON 10/24/2024

7:51pm

Trump is ahead in the polls. 

That’s just fucking great.