Love, Justine

INTERVIEW

“Cricket”

Female

40yrs

Three children

Trauma?

“Yes, my dad was in and out of jail my whole life, mom was an alcoholic. I became a parent at five years old to my siblings. I don’t remember the sexual abuse, but I know it happened. My maternal grandmother died of cancer when I was 10 years old, she was my safe haven. I watched my other grandma die of cancer. There was always violence in my home.”

“The love of my life has schizophrenia. Bath salts–everything changed overnight. I got us out of the shelter and got us a house, but that was my undoing–my grandma died at the same time. We could never be together. I ended up having a nervous breakdown, wouldn’t leave the apartment for a year.”

New husband —> Volatile relationship–domestic violence.

“He almost killed me a couple of times.”

“I’m married to my best friend. We went through hell. In a sick way, he showed me how to grieve.”

Mental Illness?

Depression, PTSD, ADHD, generalized anxiety

“I used to be on meds on the outside, but they won’t give me [here] what I was on.”

Addiction?

“Yes, started using at 13. It became a problem at 21 years old, I was on Medically Assisted Treatment [Suboxone/Subutex/etc.] successfully, but after breakdown…speed, coke, fentanyl.”

How long have you been in prison this time?

One year, five months.

In your lifetime?

Eight times–possession, paraphernalia

What happened this time?

“I ran from probation. I wanted to take drugs into the jail, gave them to too many people, three people overdosed, one died. She was my friend–$1million wrongful death lawsuit–she could’ve been saved.”

Sentence?

Seven years and three months to 20 years

How were you treated?

“It was election year–my lawyer said I wouldn’t do any better (on plea deal), had a court appointed lawyer who was buddies with the DA. I wasn’t offered any kind of drug treatment. I begged for treatment court.”

Plea Deal

Threatened with 15 years if she took it to trial.

Had PWID (Possession with Intent to Deliver) charges–had evidence on a recorded device.

How were you treated by the police?

“A couple were nice, but they lied to me–said people told him I did things…”

Contact with victim’s family?

Lawyer read apology letter in court

“She was my dealer on the outside–no hard feelings from her brother. They looked like they wanted to kill me in the courtroom.”

Do you have any outside support?

Mom is supportive, dad–died. Kids, husband.

What do you do for fun?

“I used to love to sing and dance and play with my kids. We’d laugh all the time. They’re funny (cries). AA in here is fun.”

Do you think prison is rehabilitative?

“No. Maybe long bids because they separate you from the crime. They wouldn’t let me do SDTP (State Drug Treatment Program) even though I have a drug case. They gave me no chance at all. They gave me the TC to do four months before my minimum.

I am a really good person, and I had it together at one time. I don’t feel like I was ever given a chance. I had no help. I would have done long-term rehab, but I wasn’t given that option (cries).”