Love, Justine

December 30th, 2024

Monday

2:40pm

Tiger didn’t answer the phone when I called her for her birthday. The boys went to her party and said it was nice, so that’s good.

Zuko and I have been getting a lot of comments about us being together. She tells me that several people have told her they’re “Team Jess.” I laughed it off and thought that probably Zuko’s friends just don’t want her to be with nasty bitch Tyson, who reminds me of a satanic, abusive little elf, but then Daisy said that I’m giving Zuko the wrong impression, like I’m leading her on by being her friend. I have a hard time believing that. We’re just friends and I’ve made it clear to Zuko that I’m not gay. 

Then again, I feel like everybody is a little gay, and what if we were together? 

Who cares? 

Zuko has made it clear that she prefers monogamy, so it wouldn’t work anyway, but what’s the big deal?

Is Daisy a homophobe?

I just don’t understand. 

Daisy says that Zuko is using me to make Tyson jealous.

Hm. 

December 31st, 2024

Tuesday

3:29pm

Today Zuko took all of her notes and stuff from Tyson and put them in a bucket and poured water all over the whole mess. Then she ripped them up and threw them out. When I walked into the bathroom in the middle of this, she said, “Of course you would come in here.”

I don’t know what that means.

In other news, I got called into the new counselor’s office (used to be Ms. Reese, now Mr. Burns) because he was doing my parole vote sheet. He asked where I was going if I got out. I said I have to go to the Potter County Women’s Center. He said there was nothing like that on my status sheet and asked who told me that. 

I said a judge.

Then he said, “I hate getting these cases that are all fucked up,” and told me I could leave.

Okay, whatever dude.

Book:

“Gates of Injustice: The Crisis in America’s Prisons” by Alan Elsner © 2006

Excerpts:

P. 25

“‘Jails and prisons have become the final destination for the mentally ill in America–it’s the most pressing issue facing psychiatry today,’ said Steven Lamberti, a psychiatrist at the University of Rochester.

In 2000, the BJS estimated that around 16 percent of inmates in state prisons were mentally ill–191,000 individuals. Adding the federal prison system and county jails dramatically raises that number, probably to at least 300,000. With such numbers, an unbiased outsider could be forgiven for concluding that being mentally ill has itself become a crime in the United States.

In recent years, women have been the fastest growing sector of the prison system. For most of the 20th century, the United States had incarcerated only around 5,000 to 10,000 women. The number held in the state prisons passed the 100,000 mark in 2003. By mid-2004, the BJS found over 190,000 women held in prisons and jails, more than double the 1990 figure. Notes criminologist Meda Chesney-Lind, ‘The war against drugs was a largely unannounced war on women.’

Statistically, African American women were two-and-a-half times more likely than Hispanics and five times more likely than Hispanics and five times more likely as whites to end up behind bars. Even more alarmingly, around 65 percent of women in state prisons had children under 18; around 5 percent were pregnant when they entered.”

P. 26

“Children are some of the saddest invisible casualties of the U.S. prison binge. The BJS, in 2000, estimated that 721,500 of America’s prisoners, excluding jail inmates, were parents of at least one child, while at least 1.5 million children had a parent in prison. One in every 14 black children has a parent in prison on any given day, but of course, over the duration of an entire childhood, the figure is much higher. Children whose parents are incarcerated experience a broad range of problems, including rage, guilt, low self-esteem and depression. They are more likely to live in poverty, more likely to suffer abuse at the hands of caregivers, more likely to fail at school, more likely to take drugs and more likely to end up in juvenile jail. Half of all juveniles in custody have a parent or close relative in prison.”

6:50pm

Great. Zuko’s girlfriend is creating a lot of drama. 

Involving me.

People are saying Daisy should go to Med Line with me to protect me. 

Fuck that. 

This is great.

7:25pm

I survived Med Line. No one even said anything to me. I have a sneaking suspicion that Zuko likes drama.

I don’t.

She apologized to me in the bathroom.

I’ll never understand abusive relationships.

P. 29

“By 2000, over 650,000 prisoners a year were being released on parole or after completing their terms. A large number remained addicted to drugs and alcohol. Those who sincerely wanted to go straight faced crushing obstacles to rebuilding their lives. Many jobs and housing options were permanently closed to them; many social benefits were permanently denied. Little surprise that a BJS study found that over two-thirds of those released were rearrested within three years, either for parole violations or for new crimes.

While states struggled, thousands of businesses got fat off supplying prisons. As early as 1994, the Wall Street Journal proclaimed the birth of a ‘prison-industrial complex.’ The law enforcement technology industry, which produces high-tech items like the latest stab-proof vests, helmets, stun guns, sheilds, batons and chemical agents, is worth over $1 billion a year. With 2.3 million people engaged in catching criminals and putting and keeping them behind bars, accounting for a monthly payroll of $8.1 billion, the ‘correctional industry’ had become one of the largest sectors of the U.S. economy, employing more people than the combined worldwide workforces of General Motors, Ford and Wal-Mart, the three biggest corporate employers in the country. If a nation was defined by what it produced, the United States had become a prison nation.”

P. 32

“In the summer of 1971, four young professors conducted one of the most famous psychological studies ever devised–the Stanford Prison Experiment. The researchers, Philip Zimbardo, Craig Haney, W. Curtis Banks and David Jaffe, transformed a section in the basement of Stanford University’s psychology department into a mock prison.”

How It Worked

24 male college students volunteered.

They were randomly assigned to be either guards or prisoners.

A mock prison was set up in Stanford’s psychology department basement.

The study was planned to last two weeks.

Guards were given uniforms, mirrored sunglasses (to prevent eye contact), and authority. Prisoners were arrested at home, fingerprinted, and given numbers instead of names.

⚠️ What Happened

Things escalated quickly:

Guards began displaying authoritarian and abusive behaviors.

Prisoners showed signs of extreme stress, anxiety, and depression.

Some prisoners had emotional breakdowns within days.

Guards enforced humiliating punishments and psychological intimidation.

The environment became so intense that the experiment was terminated after only 6 days.

Outcome & Conclusions

Zimbardo concluded that:

Situational forces and social roles can strongly influence behavior.

Ordinary individuals can engage in cruel behavior when placed in positions of power.

Institutional settings (like prisons) can foster dehumanization.

The study became one of the most famous demonstrations of the power of social situations over individual personality.

P. 126-127

“In California, the State Auditor reported in 2001 that it cost the state $3.2 million a year to collect $5 co-payments for every visit to a prison doctor, while the program only generated $654,000 in income.”

P. 133

“In the past decade, women have been the fastest growing segment of the U.S. prison population. The number of women incarcerated in prisons or jails more than doubled, from 44,065 in 1990 to 103,310 by midyear 2004. Since 1995, the number of women in state or federal prisons has grown by an average of 5 percent a year–much higher than the 3.3 percent yearly increase in the male population.

9:55pm

Lights out.

People around here are saying they’re staying up for New Years. Two hours left of 2024.
Good riddance.

Martha made us party hats that say, “Happy New Year, bitches.”

I feel bad for Zuko.

She says she has to get out of this relationship carefully so she doesn’t get shipped to Cambridge Springs. 

Daisy says we have to come up with three resolutions for the new year–one spiritual, on physical, and one emotional. 

Emotional–be more emotionally vulnerable and open.

Physical–exercise at least once weekly.

Spiritual–pray more–once daily.