WOMEN’S CENTER
May 21st, 2018
Day 322
7:45am
I have one cigarette left. Ugh. I usually have therapy all day today, but I have no health insurance now, so Big cancelled my appointments this week. It’s going to be a loooooooooooooooooooooooong week. Yesterday Tiger wrote me a card in cursive that said, “Tiger loves Mommy,” so King wrote me a card that says, “Herm” on it. When I told him what it said, he said to Tiger excitedly, “Tiger! I spelled the word “Herm!” Annoyed, Tiger said, “King, Herm is not a word. It’s not in the dictionary.”
It was cute.
8:30am
Living Clean Book:
“When we act in love and humility, we are amazed at what we can accomplish.”
“Laughter and joy can be as spiritual as prayer and service.”
Inspirational Group–speaker
- Put God first.
- Fail big–take chances professionally
- Set goals
- It’s not how much you have, but what you do with what you have.
- Help others.
- Pray–gratitude–say thank you in advance for what’s already yours.
- Don’t just aspire to make a living. Aspire to make a difference.
11am
Inspirational Quotes:
“In the darkest hour the soul is replenished and given strength to continue and endure.”
“You never know what happiness a simple act of kindness will bring about.”
“The darkest part of night is just before the break of dawn.”
“Expectations are just premeditated resentments.”
Well, that last one wasn’t very inspirational. Tori just shrieked, “Jess! Come here!!” So I ran over to see what was so exciting, and she was standing in the supply closet holding…pee pads. She was super excited about them too, like she had just found a leprechaun. She tried to get me to take one to wear, but I sullenly declined. I try not to be reminded that I pee my pants sometimes.
Ugh.
12pm
Chore time, then lunch time. I’m super hungry today for some reason. Tori seems almost normal today. I wonder how Sugar Momma’s doing–she went to some appointment today and I haven’t seen her. She was complaining of hallucinations so bad yesterday that I was telling her some grounding techniques that I do when I feel a flashback coming on. Finally, she tried putting some mint essential oils on so that the strong smell would keep her in reality.
6pm
Now we’re watching a DVD on sexual health. Fun fun. Jo got her door taken off for slamming it again. This video does point out that most mothers don’t talk to their daughters about how to choose a partner. Sugar Momma says screw birth control, just don’t have sex!
WHAT??!!
MmHm.
That’ll work.
You have about a 100% chance of getting pregnant using that method, lady, sorry to say. Oh no. Now we’re talking about STD’s–how often can you say the words “burning sensation,” and “discharge”??
Gross.
Now Sandra is reading and she can’t pronounce the word “vaginal.” She keeps saying it “va-jy-nal.”
Ugh.
Now we’re on HIV–fever, rashes, flu-like symptoms, blurred vision are all symptoms. Jo can’t stop giggling, and Sugar Momma has left the room. Poor Grammy–I can’t imagine that any of this pertains to her. Sugar Momma is back and has back spasms now. Mr. Big told her that she can’t go to the Memorial Day picnic if she has any more hallucinations. He seems to think she’s making them up, same as Tori. This is torturous, not only because of the subject matter, but also since Sandra can’t pronounce half of the words.
12am
Can’t sleep. We had to drive all of the way to Wellsboro for a meeting (so Tori wouldn’t see Harley), and then it was a crappy meeting to boot–people droning on and on about themselves, and then another guy spouting angry nonsense about how he had a family emergency, and that’s why he didn’t show up to chair last week’s meeting and other nonsense that was inappropriate to discuss at a meeting, and should have been brought up at their group conscious meeting after the regular meeting. Needless to say, I did not glean any experience, strength, or hope from that meeting, but I did find out something very interesting about Sugar Momma–she has had only four sexual partners!! My goodness, the woman is practically a virgin, and she let Ike exploit her?! It just surprised me, that someone who obviously thinks that sex should be special and personal and withheld until the right person comes along would have anything to do with someone like Ike at all (which says a lot about my previous choices). I only had anything to do with him because he was a free source of drugs, but she actually LOVED him! I’m sort of shell-shocked. I meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaan…..it seems that anyone in their right mind would be able to see right through him….of course, who is to say that people in love are in their right mind?
Onto reading my book, “And Still She Laughs,” which is written by a mother who not only lost a daughter to cancer, but had several miscarriages, one, WHILE she was writing the book. It’s mostly about gratitude and living in God’s image. We’ll see what it says tonight:
Things we should derive joy from:
–The scent of sunshine on a sprawling tomato vine, the way clean sheets feel against freshly showered skin…the icy cold flesh of a dewy sweet watermelon, the sound of breaking suction when a toddler pulls her thumb out of her mouth in order to hug you…”
“We have way more than we realize. Our lives are abundant, overflowing with beauty we often overlook. Don’t miss it.”
–Kate Merrick
“And suddenly, at the fork in the road, where you can either turn toward pity or party, well, break out the streamers because there are people to be loved and thanks to be given.”
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