Love, Justine

Women’s Center

September 30th, 2017

Saturday

Day 88

2am

I hate not being able to sleep! I guess we’re going to some sort of picnic tomorrow because Mr. Big asked (well, told) Tori and I to “make a dish.” As in a dish to pass, apparently. I hope we have the stuff to at least make a macaroni salad or something. This was unplanned. My mind just won’t shut off and I know it’s because what happened to Crash’s son triggered me. He hit his head bad in a football game. Had to be carried off the field.

My stupid mind. 

Crash’s son’s name is Joshua, so I looked up an inspirational quote from Joshua in the Bible and gave it to Crash. Of course she is still up too. I hope my children weren’t traumatized by seeing him get hurt. 

Is that selfish of me?

I have to write Tiger a letter.

And finish my letter to Bear (as in Momma Bear), who left for a while to go to rehab, but is coming back after that.

Okay, so I wrote Momma Bear a letter and I still can’t sleep! This is crazy! I guess it’s time to write Tiger a letter. It’s hard to write to a seven year old. Especially hard not to make it all “I love you”’s and “I miss you”’s.

12pm

I finally fell asleep last night. Crash’s son was up and walking finally this morning, so that’s wonderful news. We’re on our way to an AA picnic–it’s about 50 degrees outside. I can’t wait to see the kids tomorrow–I hope to God that Dubya lets Tiger come. I have candy for the kids and a letter for Tiger. I finished my letter to Momma Bear too.

September 30th, 2017

Hey Tiger, 

I can’t wait to see you Sunday, I hope you are coming. I made sure to get a bunch of candy for you guys. I heard at the football game tonight that one of the boys got hurt pretty badly. His Mom is at the Women’s Center with me. His name is Joshua–we all prayed for him. I’m sure they’ll take very good care of him at the hospital.

Anyway, I dyed my hair tonight and it turned bright yellow! It’s kind of a crazy color–wait till you see it.

So how is school going? And how is soccer? Do you like it? I can’t believe it’s almost October already! I wonder what the boys will be for Halloween. Anyway, more news on Joshua–they called and told his Mom this morning that he was up and walking, so that’s wonderful news.

We get to go to a picnic today. It’s kind of cold for a picnic, but it will be nice to get out anyway. On October 3rd, Daddy and I are going back to court and I’m going to ask the judge if you can come visit me every weekend.

Well, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow, and I hope you are doing well! I love you to the moon and back!

Love, 

Mommy

P.s. Always remember that I am proud of you every day, no matter what.

Lets see what my grief book has to say today. 

“Couples need to be reminded that a license to marry isn’t a certificate in mind reading.”

Interesting.

We’re here.