October 24th, 2026
Today I went to the Post Office with my Mother, Father, and my boys to get their passport paperwork signed, so that they can go to Alaska without me next July. There was some problem with how the printer had formatted the paperwork, and so it could not be processed anyway.
We have court on Thursday.
I, of course, am terrified, that they will just rip apart my life, piece by piece, like they always do, and weaponize my mental illness and past drug use as a forever-illness that can never be absolved, no matter how many programs, and probations, and jails, and prisons, and house arrests, that I complete.
I asked the boys today if they wanted to talk to the Judge, now that they are old enough to, to answer questions about whether or not they want to see me more or less often.
King was on the fence, and said that he had “already answered that question to the lawyer a hundred times.”
Superman said yes.
Motorcycle is sleeping peacefully next to me, with Jake the Beagle between us, having decided that he still can tolerate me, even though I am clearly a crazy person who cannot be trusted with one’s heart.
I did not have to go into the Speakeasy tonight, thank the Blessed Heavens above, because Jessica Rabbit went to another bar’s Halloween Costume Party.
The boys and I had a great day today carving pumpkins.
It was nice.
At one point, they both had a seed between their pointer finger and thumb, and looked at each other, implicitly understood something that didn’t need to be stated out loud, both nodded, and then turned to me, and–
Pew-pew!!
Pumpkin seeds!!
Fired at close range!
I sprung from my seat, and chased them upstairs, with them giggling wildly like toddlers all the way.
It was wonderful fun.
Of course it ended in tickle fights and kiss attacks, with them both escaping under their respective beds, and me moping downstairs, announcing a ceasefire, having been soundly walloped in this pumpkin-seed war by two pre-teen twins, who are much more nimble and spry than myself; my pride and joy, my Grand Finale, who I love so hard that it hurts.