Potter County Women’s Recovery Center
May 30th, 2018
Wednesday
Day 331
8am
Everyone is just bitching incessantly today–it’s exhausting just to listen to. I just can’t fucking wait to get out of here so bad. Now we’re waiting for everyone to get around for Community. Jolene say she needs to shave her tush.
Funny.
I need to shave my legs.
10am
Well, Community was fun. Mr. Big encouraged us to call each other out and be honest in Community about what people are doing wrong. There was just a super hot guy on TV and Jolene said she almost creamed in her pants.
*sigh*
Me too.
Now she’s talking about something called Neflins existing before Adam and Eve.
I know nothing about that.
John 20:29: “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” –Jesus
Now we have “Healthy Relationships” group with the woman from A Way Out. She brought a board game, but she doesn’t know how to play it.
Hm.
11am
Chore time.
Jolene is discussing her situation with her ex with the A Way Out lady. Maybe she’ll finally get her PFA that she wants (and deserves).
John 20:31: “…but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.”
John 21:25: “Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.”
1pm
Now we have Drug and Alcohol group. Today we are writing a letter to our addiction.
Here’s mine:
From the time I was small,
Until when I was tall,
I knew life would be rough,
And I’d have to be tough.
But you took it to another level,
From that first needle bevel,
Going into my vein,
Nothing would ever be the same.
I’d lie and I’d cheat,
And you knew I’d be beat,
But I didn’t care,
You had me in your snare.
But things will be different now,
And I will tell you how.
First comes my Higher Power,
I no longer have to cower.
Then comes me,
And my little three.
I know if you had your druthers,
I’d be dead, six feet under.
But I no longer have to be scared,
For, alas, I have been spared.
I have nothing but hate for you now,
And this is my solemn vow:
I simply love life too much,
To ever again use you as a crutch.
Very Sincerely,
Justine
6:30pm
God.
Everyone is bitching like crazy right now.
May 31st, 2018
Thursday
Day 332
2pm
Now we’re doing a group on things nobody knows about us. We were supposed to do Community Service, but then Sugar Momma fell down again, so we stayed here. Brenda lived in 22 different homes growing up, and Jo is a triplet. Sandra just said, “Four kids is bad enough!!”
Asshole.
If people don’t want kids, why do they keep having more?!
Ugh.
Grammy is sleeping with her tongue hanging out, which is kind of funny.
10pm
Gawd.
Jo is freaking out again, this time because she’s been pitting first shift against second shift, telling second shift that first shift told her she can smoke at meetings, which is not true. She is only allowed to smoke two cigarettes per day because she gets in trouble so often.
This morning she went so far as to write Tori a note to see if Tori would ask me for my pills!! Of course, I made her show the note to Kat.
I want to scream at Jo–”BITCH, PUT THE SHOVEL DOWN!!”
Geezoman.
When is she going to learn?
I tell her to stop asking me, so she thinks Tori will??
WhatEVER.
Tomorrow I have to get online and see if I can find a place for Tori and I to live when we get out.
GOOD.
NIGHT!!
June 1st, 2018
Friday
Day 333
8am
Mr. Big looks hot today. But what am I talking about? He looks hot every day. I had more dreams about him when I went to bed last night.
God.
I fantasize about him when I’m awake, I fantasize about him when I’m asleep…it’s exhausting.
Ugh.
Now he’s in the room. I’ve got to stop.
Anyway…….doot….de doot…..de doooooooooot….not thinking about him at all…..yeah, right.
9am
Inspirational Group
The average American will meet 10,000 people in his or her lifetime.
Lessons from Admiral speech: (inspirational)
If you want to change the world:
- Make your bed every morning.
- Ask for help.
- Measure people by the size of their heart.
- Keep moving forward.
- Don’t be afraid of failure (it makes you stronger).
- Sometimes you have to slide through the obstacles head first.
- Don’t back down.
- Be your very best during your darkest moments.
- Give hope to others, never give up.
- Respect everyone.
11am
I sweated my ass off in Gym. Now I get to sweep and mop the giant dining room floor. I’m finally doing my laundry too. Stupid Jo didn’t go to Gym, so she’s in even more trouble. I guess I’ll get on the computer for 15 minutes and look up apartments.
No luck with apartments. There’s one in Port Allegany that I might consider if it’s okay with Tori.
2:30pm
Big left for the day. Inspirational quote on the board (from And Still She Laughs, by Kate Merrick):
“And so I surrendered. I surrendered the idea that I can play God and control the outcome of my life. I surrendered the sinful attitudes, the self pity, the ugly fits. I surrendered the kicking of feet and lashing out at the One who is carrying me. I surrendered the wasting of time, sitting around paralyzed because I can’t get past the mess my life has become or the disappointments I have suffered. I surrendered what I had been holding back, all the love and adoration I had been withholding from God out of a broken heart: stingy, petulant, and hoarding affection.”
“In all their suffering, He also suffered.”
–Isaiah 63:9
10pm
Watching TV for the first time in over a month. I’m finally off of Restriction. I bought hair dye tonight–I can’t wait to dye my hair, but we’re only allowed to do it on the weekends, so it’ll have to wait until tomorrow.
Tori does not want to live in Port Allegany, which sucks super bad, because I was kind of hopeful about it.
Ugh.
Now “Knocked Up” is on–for the millionth time.