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Life Uncategorized

Zuko Love, Dead Babies, and Fucking Bipolar Disorder

MUNCY STATE PRISON

February 28th, 2025

Friday

10:54am

Commissary day. Yay for coffee and ecigs. Tomorrow is Kaylee’s 17th death anniversary.

5:49pm

Everyone has Steve Wilkos on their TVs. Some story about a woman who’s here who killed a baby, hid the body, and only got 15 years. 

She’s here, of course.

Of course she’s here.

People are outraged that they got the same amount of time for drug offenses and shit. Everyone’s talking about dead babies today. A few years ago this would have been traumatic for me. Today it’s merely noteworthy.

On the radio:

“I’m at the deep end

Watch as I dive in

I’ll never leave the ground

Crash through the surface

Where they can’t hurt us

We’re far from the shallow now…”

Maybe I finally graduated to the deep end. Never could swim. But I can bury two babies and survive it.

The other day the mental health lady said to me, “After all you’ve been through, prison isn’t going to keep you down. Nothing’s going to keep you down.” 

She teared up when she said it, like she really meant it.

Maybe she’s right.

9:23pm

They switched my detail to the downstairs bathroom and my days off.

Fuck.

Now I’ll never be alone with Zuko. She thinks we should sign a contract and live together on a closed unit, but that seems extreme to me. And I really don’t want to take a shit in front of her.

Fuck.

This just keeps getting worse.

March 1st, 2025

Saturday

Kaylee’s Death Anniversary

7:51am

Zuko and I went to breakfast this morning. She made me a picture of a woman with black hair and blue eyes kneeling in a white dress with yellow butterfly wings.

She’s so sweet.

Book:

Gandhi: An Autobiography–The Story of My Experiments With Truth

P. 19

“And he who would be friends with God must remain alone, or make the whole world his friend.”

March 2nd, 2025

Sunday

11:21am

“Strawberry Wine” is playing on the radio. Makes me miss Kimberly. I wonder how she is.

This book by Gandhi is 500 pages long.

Zuko let me listen to the rest of “Sprout’s Mixed Tape” last night. She told me about a book called “Survivor” whose main character is her great-grandfather who was trapped at sea for nine days. Two other men trapped with him died, but he survived.

Zuko is unbelievably sweet and thoughtful. 

She says she’s going to worry about me cheating on her when I get out of here. I don’t know how I feel about that. I guess if I was in her position, I would feel the same way. She said not to take it personally. Sounds personal to me.

Tomorrow we’ll have been together for a month. She keeps track of these things. She thinks something bad is going to happen tomorrow when the Unit Manager, Mr. Reibsome, comes back. She might be right.

A few days ago, when Ms. Grumpy Crabass was slowly approaching our table, Zuko started to do the “Jaws” music–like, “Duh-Nuh…Duh-Nuh…” faster and faster the closer she got.

It was funny.

Paula, my new cellie (along with Melanie Gibson) says that Zuko has a reputation for “being an asshole.”

Hm. 

March 3rd, 2025

Monday

11:29am

I wrote Zuko:

Sweetheart, 

Happy one monthiversary 🙂. I love you. This has been the happiest month I ever spent incarcerated. Who knew you could be happy in prison? I didn’t. You’re so funny and smart and thoughtful and sweet. I love these things about you. I miss you when we’re apart. You’re very important to me. You make me happy. I want to say all the things lol.

I love how you touch me and I love how you kiss me and I love how it feels to hug you. I love your frumpy face and your “I love you” signal and the way we think the same things are funny. I think about you all of the time. I love how you cook for me and draw pretty pictures and pay attention to the things that are important to me. I love how we plan for our future together and how you believe in me. 

I love you like crazy,

I have to write Tabby and Stryder. Stryder keeps messaging me about being in an open relationship when I get out of here even though I’ve told him several times to date other people and that I’m not his person. And Tabby–well, I haven’t heard from her in a couple of months, and I’m afraid her sister died.

I wrote the judge:

To the Honorable Judge Stephen Minor, 

When I got sentenced to six months in the Women’s Recovery Center for misdemeanor Resisting Arrest and Disorderly Conduct, you seemed to think that because I wasn’t given jail time, the Parole Board wouldn’t give me much or any time in prison.

On the contrary, they gave me one year in Muncy State Prison for “early failure on parole.” I will be here one year in March 2025, when I will see parole again. I will max out June 26, 2025, whether I get paroled or not.

I talked to Walter Stenhach, my attorney, about petitioning the court for less time at PCWRC, seeing that I just spent a year in State Prison, but when I called him to discuss this in December, he said that my sentence is final and that there’s “no such thing” as petitioning the court for a shorter sentence. I don’t know if this is true or not, but the purpose of this letter is to ask for relief in the form of a shorter sentence at the Women’s Center. 

I have now served nearly three years for mental health episodes that I have no control over and have worked mightily to prevent. I am medication compliant, see a therapist weekly on the outside, and see a psychiatrist monthly. I try to avoid the stress and profound depression that seem to precede my psychotic episodes.

I am currently mentally stable and I haven’t seen my three children in a year.

I am humbly requesting less than six months at the Potter County Women’s Recovery Center in light of my one-year parole hit.

Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.

Respectfully Submitted,

Jessica Kenley #PE6201

9:04pm

Zuko cried today.

She wanted to tell me to tell her if this gets too hard and I want out of our relationship. I will tell her. I love her enough to tell her. I’m not into hurting people on purpose. That’s not my style. And she’s certainly had enough pain in her life for a lifetime. I would never want to be one of the people adding to it. She loves really hard. But so do I . But I am in love with her. I keep telling her she’s my silver lining.

Silver is one of her favorite colors.

She says she wants to marry me.

I wonder if that’s true. (It is! –Zuko)

I feel like I gave up on true love a long time ago, so I just settled for sort-of love and sex as a substitute. But Zuko seems to love me the way that I am.

I didn’t think that was possible.

Who knew?

The song keeps running through my head that goes, “We fell in love in a hopeless place…”

Is this possible to sustain?

I don’t know.

But I’m willing to find out.

With my whole heart this time.

March 7th, 2025

Friday

Book: 

“Gandhi: An Autobiography–The Story of My Experiments With Truth”

P. 89

“For one gets the Guru that one deserves. Infinite striving after perfection is one’s right. It is its own reward. The rest is in the hands of God.”

10:07pm

I have a visit with Stryder tomorrow. Zuko isn’t happy about it, of course. I’m not either. He sent me this message the other day about “thank you for encouraging me to date other people, but I’m happy with you.”

Good Lord, as Zuko would say.

She didn’t feel good today.

Her period is coming and the anniversary of her Pap’s death is on Monday.

“He was my guy,” she says.

Grief is hard. I’m glad I have finally seemed to come out the other side of it. Zuko makes it a point to always remember all of the dates that are important to me. Birthdays and death anniversaries. How to spell Jaxon’s name. I meant to show her pictures of my kids today, but then I forgot. We went to the Library today and she checked out two books–one on living with a chronic illness and one specifically on lupus. She seems to want to learn everything about me. I hope the books don’t scare her. Most people with lupus die from it. Zuko just saw me and made an “I love you” sign and blew me a kiss. She’s so sweet. To me. But then so was Motorcycle. Turns out he was a whole asshole in real life. Weirdly trivial things seem to piss Zuko off. I don’t know if that’s a maturity thing or a “my whole life has pretty much sucked” thing. She told me today that her Dad used to beat the shit out of her. Somehow we got onto the subject of child abuse. But she’s been abused her entire life. She says she’s going to love the lupus out of me. 

I wonder if I can love the hate out of her.

In other news, Paula, one of my new cellies, is sleeping sitting up again. She has cancer, and lost a son to suicide. She only sleeps for like four minutes at a time, and so is always tired. Sometimes I wonder if, like psychosis being caused by a broken spirit, if cancer can be caused by too many horrible things happening in your life.

And how do you fix that?

Can you go to a doctor and ask for medication to mend your fractured spirit?

How do you measure how much you can handle in life?

Is there a blood test for that?

Paula was holding the door for someone today and stole an e-cigarette out of her pocket. I’m not sure why she told me that. I hope she doesn’t steal from me. She, of course, knew it was wrong, and said something about karma “getting” her, but she didn’t return it.

We had an AA (or “self-help”) meeting today, and Emily was there talking about karma and how she wants to get revenge on her (ex?) husband by suing him in court. Zuko nodded and said something about “taking accountability,” but it just seemed like it was about vengeance to me. Can you really make somebody take accountability for their actions?? 

Hurt people hurt people, I guess.

I tried to say stuff about forgiveness and how it’s for you and not the person who wronged you, but I don’t know if I made the point very well.

I think forgiveness might be the antidote for hate.

Maybe the doctors can prescribe that, ha ha.

See look–I just cured cancer.

I’m a genius lol.

But what if I’m right?

They’ve linked stress to heart disease and all kinds of things. I understand carcinogens and environmental pollutants and all of that, but why do people exposed to the same exact things not all get the same exact diseases?? There has to be other factors. 

If chronic anger can cause a heart attack, then I think hate and unforgiveness can cause cancer.

That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

Now I’m just ranting.

But for real–my identical twin sister doesn’t have lupus, and we grew up in the same environment.

However–my mother loved her and hated me, which made me hate myself. Genetic predisposition+ self-hate = lupus

Every single woman with lupus that I’ve talked to said that she hated herself around the time she was diagnosed, which is usually around the teenage years.

Nobel Prize, please.

Anyway, Zuko said to me today, “I love you period,” and I replied, that that is a song, and then she suddenly launched into a tirade about how she hates this girl from high school. She was driving a car that Zuko’s friend was riding in, and the car crashed, and Zuko’s friend was thrown from the car and subsequently died. 

That song reminds Zuko of the girl, inexplicably, so she therefore hates that song.

Ugh.

She didn’t really explain that part, but I was forbidden to sing the song.

I wonder how many other hate-triggers she has. I didn’t get to tell her what that song reminded me of, which is this great teacher who taught Special Ed at Fillmore while my mother was pregnant with Cool and teaching at the same school.

During my mother’s maternity leave, this teacher drove my sister and I to school, which was 45 minutes away, and would blast rock music the whole way and smoke cigarettes.

She was also very funny and nice.

I always got a kick out of that song, so she would turn the radio all the way up whenever it came on–”I love you, period…Do you love me question mark…Please, please exclamation point…I wanna hold you in parentheses!”

I thought it was the funniest song.

I wonder how many things I won’t be allowed to talk about because Zuko hates them.

Which brings me to Stryder.

I have to tell him tomorrow that we’re not ever going to be in a relationship again. I just don’t want to, for many reasons. 

But the biggest one is that I don’t trust him.

I mean, that’s why I broke up with Motorcycle.

If prison has taught me anything, it’s that you have a fuck of a lot of time to sit and think. And even if you forgive someone, that doesn’t mean that you have to keep letting them in your life.

He’s done enough damage.

And the bad outweighs the good.

Pretty soon I won’t have anyone sending me money in here.

I called Motorcycle today, and he bitched about his upstairs neighbors for the entire phone call. True to form, he didn’t bother to ask me how I am.

Just bitched and bitched, and then I got off the phone.

Whatever.

As long as he doesn’t throw out all my stuff, I’m fine. 

Who the fuck is going to pick me up from prison if I get rid of Stryder too?

The Women’s Center, I guess.

Paul doesn’t drive long distances. I’m not tired because I drank too much coffee today. Zuko wants me to go to breakfast. I guess I’ll read.

Nope.

Still thinking.
Zuko thinks about (and cares about) Tyson a lot. It must be difficult to be locked in a fishbowl with your ex, but please. They weren’t even really together. They never had sex–they lived on different Units, for Chrissakes.

I mean–how much of a relationship could they have possibly had?

I feel like Zuko and I did more in the way of being intimate in the first two weeks than they did in nine months.

But she brings her up every day.

If not with me, then with other people.

And there was that note she sent her and didn’t tell me about. And I’m cutting people out of my life because I can’t trust them. Tyson sat next to us at lunch today and made a big show of laughing hysterically the whole time.

It bothered Zuko too much.

The note still bothers me.

That was 2/19/25, five days AFTER shower sex and risking going to the Hole for her, because I believed that she wanted to be with me and only me…I wonder if she told Tyson that she wanted to marry her too? Planned a future together?

That note was also AFTER I broke up with Motorcycle.

Because I believed in Zuko.

I believed all that stuff she was saying was true. I want to believe her. But if Cricket hadn’t walked up to us that day, I would have never known about the note. 

Zuko sure wasn’t going to tell me about it.

And then yesterday I overheard Zuko talking to Daisy, who was saying, “Oh, no, I’ve never heard her say anything bad about you…” and I walked away. I can only assume that was about Tyson. She seems to think that Tyson is SO hung up on her and is doing things to fuck with her, but it seems like she’s got that the wrong way around. It boggles my mind that she cares about Tyson at all–the bitch KILLED A CHILD ON PURPOSE.

She is obviously not a good person.

I can’t make it make sense.

Tyson literally has every red flag (and some glaring, flashing, neon signs) for being an abuser WHICH IS THE WHOLE REASON ZUKO’S IN PRISON, and she “dated” her anyway.

It’s no wonder Zuko thinks I’m a “ten.” 

Compared to Tyson, most of humanity is a “ten.”

Alanis Morrisette is on the radio singing:

“You’ve already won me over,

In spite of me,

And don’t be alarmed if I fall,

Head over feet, 

And don’t be surprised if I love you, 

For all that you are, 

I couldn’t help it, 

It’s all your fault…”

Maybe I’m just an idiot who falls in love with assholes. Maybe I’m just overcaffeinated and overtired.

But what if I’m right?

Can you love the hate out of someone?

Can you trust someone who does untrustworthy things?

Maya Angelou said:

“When people show you who they are–believe them.”

Can I fix what I didn’t break?

What would I do if I was being my bravest, truest self?

I would love her through this.

The good outweighs the bad.

“And I don’t want the world

To see me

‘Cuz I don’t think that they’d understand

When everything’s made to be broken

I just want you to know 

Who I am…”

“Oh it’s a trust fall baby

I’m not going without you

You’re not going alone

Cuz you know what you know when you know

It’s a trust fall baby

What if we just fall?”

–Pink

9:06am

I made the mistake of showing Zuko what I wrote. 

She cried.

A lot.

It turns out that I’m the asshole.

And of course this is very public crying in the Common Room with everybody watching. 

I apologized profusely, but it didn’t seem to help. She doesn’t trust me because I do this. Namely dump all of my invalid feelings on her when she’s clearly doing the best she can.

It turns out that I’m unnecessarily vicious with my words when I’m talking to myself.

This is why I’m so quiet in life.

I’ve learned that I’m an asshole if I open my mouth too fast.

She finally just said, “I don’t want to sit here like this anymore,” and got up and left.

I don’t blame her.

I feel terrible that I made her feel terrible. 

I asked her to forgive me, mostly out of desperation, and she nodded, but this is bad. I’m scared I fucked this up too badly to do anything about it.

Fuck my life.

Is this even worth doing?

Of course it’s worth doing.

Love is always worth doing.

But is that what I’m doing?

Loving her?

Because it doesn’t feel that way.

It feels like I’m being hypercritical and projecting all of my bullshit onto her.

Fuck.

I have a visit soon and I have to write her.

I wrote Zuko:

I am extremely sorry that I was hypercritical of you and projected all of my bullshit onto you. I go crazy in my head sometimes. Especially when I can’t sleep. You are clearly doing the best you can. If I’m being completely honest, I love you so much I’m terrified. I’m sabotaging this relationship.

I’m sorry.

I’ll stop.

Please forgive me.

I need you to forgive me.

I’m so sorry.

I’m unnecessarily vicious with my words when I’m talking to myself. This is why I’m so quiet in life. It turns out that I’m an asshole when I open my mouth too fast. I have learned this about myself. I’m so sorry. I want you to be able to trust me. I love you. I believe that you love me. The is a me problem. Please forgive me. I am an imperfect person and I make mistakes.

Big ones.

2pm

This is mania. This is what a Bipolar I manic phase looks like. I don’t sleep. I get mean. I don’t eat or eat very little. Stryder saw me and knew immediately. I’m not myself. I can’t help this. My entire body is shaking. My heart rate is fast and my blood pressure is high. I can feel the panic in my chest. I need to be squeezed. I am going to take a shower.

I hate Bipolar Disorder.

I think Zuko is sleeping.

I don’t know what to do.

Categories
Life Uncategorized

My Birthday, Grabbin’ Ass, and Neverending Trauma

WOMEN’S CENTER

June 7th, 2018

Thursday

Day 339

8am

Time for Community. Sugar Momma is asking Sandra questions, and Sandra is taking nine years to answer each one. 

Gawd.

Mr. Big looks good today (always). I hope I get to work on the computer today. The meeting last night was okay–there are two people that talk way too much and take over the whole meeting spouting the same thing every time. Ken was there, and he must have hugged me 17 times. He and his girlfriend were fighting like cats and dogs outside the meeting beforehand. He was embarrassed when he walked in, and seemed very sex-deprived. He grabbed my butt and growled in my ear, which is uncharacteristic of him.

This Community is taking an eon.

Ugh.

11am

Now I am waiting on hold forever for the Social Security people to pick up the phone. Well, 32 minutes, to be exact. I guess I’ll read the new book Tori found here, “Bottom Line’s 2017 Health Breakthroughs.”

We’ll see what’s interesting in here.

June 8th, 2018

Friday

Day 340

2:30pm

Jesus Christ. I just got yelled at by the Sleep Nazi because I went to my room after waiting for 20 minutes for group to start and then nothing happened.

Bitch.

So now we’re sitting in the fucking Common Room doing absolutely nothing for no reason at all. She’s like, “I know you’re not sleeping during group!” And then I come out, and there’s no fucking group at all.

God.

She’s such a cunt sometimes.

June 9th, 2018

Saturday

Day 341

10pm

My birthday is tomorrow. Yippee skippy. Tori got some new hair dye at the dollar store. She wants me to bleach it for her. There’s a stupid Lifetime movie on called “Psycho Brother In Law.”

How dumb.

I did June’s custody paperwork today. I hope she gets somewhere with it. We’re up to thirteen people here now. I can’t wait to leave. There are absolutely NO apartments for rent online–they’re all for sale.

Bummer.

I didn’t go to the meeting tonight–had a terrible headache. I think I have a sinus infection. Time to dye Tori’s hair.

June 10th, 2018

Sunday

Day 342

9am

Happy birthday to me. Everybody is bitchy this morning. Time for Community. 

Blech.

10am

Finally I get to read my book–my new one is called, “Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve.”

Let’s see if there’s anything good in here:

It’s by Lewis B. Smedes

The Four Stages of Forgiving:

Hurt, hate, healing, and the coming together.

“The hurt that created a crisis of forgiving has three dimensions. It is always personal, unfair, and deep.”

“Forgiving is love’s remedy to be used when we are hurtfully wronged by a person we trusted to treat us right.”

Watching the Hunger Games now. President Snow says, “Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.”

I believe it.

3pm

I’m waiting for my kids to get here–all three of them are coming! It’s only supposed to be the boys, but when I called Dubya to talk to Lilly, he said she should be here!

Will wonders never cease.

I’m truly shocked that he let her come.

My ex-brother-in-law called too, and the staff let me speak to him for a minute, so that was nice. I guess he’s going to come visit me on Wednesday night.

6pm

The kids and I had fun. They each gave me a birthday card, and my parents gave me $20. The women here gave me a card too, which was really sweet. We’re watching, “Wonder,” which is about a little boy with a deformed face, and has Julia Roberts in it.

“When given the choice between being right, and being kind, choose kind.”

Word.

8pm

I have to say, I’ve had a good birthday, which I never thought would happen here. My sponsor came, and we mostly talked about how worried I am about moving in with Tori…I think maybe it’s not working for a reason.

9pm

New movie–talking about  how forgiveness will set you free. God, I hope so, because I am working hard at it.

Of course this is a love story–it makes me (selfishly) notice how lonely I am…

June 11th, 2018

Day 343

Monday

5:30am

Couldn’t sleep. I got up at 4am, and then tried to go back to bed, but I just kept waking up every 10 minutes, so I got up. Jolene is up too–she says her face hurts from the weather–it’s cold out, I guess. Apparently her ex showed up near the meeting again last night, even though they were just in court getting a PFA reinstated. 

I guess he was fishing near where the meeting was, and then when he saw her, he ran away. 

Fun times.

I’m glad I wasn’t there.

I get sick of Jolene’s mouth running all of the time. She’ll tell the same (pity-party) story 1500 times over, especially when something like that happens. Not that I don’t feel for her, but damn.

I’m being a bitch.

I guess I’ll read my forgiveness book.

1pm

Now we have a goal setting group. This should be fun. I guess Tori isn’t going to Crossroads today with me. Stupid Sandra made Tori cry this morning by being rude to her in group. 

Now Sandra is crying for reasons unknown. She just got off the phone with her lawyer, so that’s not a good sign. Tori is currently spraying Lysol on everything and it’s giving me a headache. Now Sandra’s saying she needs to call the judge. I bet her lawyer told her that since she ran away, she can’t get early release.

One of the new residents is sneezing and coughing and snotting all over the place–I just know I’m going to get sick.

I can feel it.

6pm

Doing group now. The man the TV is saying, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”

Tori just pointed out that she can mime her name by pointing to her toe and then her knee. 

This group is hella boring. It’s about personal responsibility.. 

Tori and I have decided to make World Rules instead:

  1. Every female baby born gets an IUD at age 10. No forced reproduction.
  2. Everybody has to take parenting classes in school.
  3. Everybody must obtain a license to have a child

June 12th, 2018

Tuesday

Day343

9am

Driving to Wellsboro now with Larry. He’s telling a story about hitting a turkey vulture with his car, which he almost did again right now.

Whew!

Those are a damn big bird up close. 

Anyway, the funny story of the week is that Tori was –story interrupted.

I just talked for two straight hours about terrible things that happened to these women. Beatings, rape, sodomy with a knife even.

I’m trying and trying and trying to lift them up with words, but maybe it’s like remembering things–you have to write it down.

So I’ll write it.

It seems like I’m always dealing with the aftermath of something. 

It’s tragic, really.

I just don’t know what to say.

People need to know that they’re important.

That they matter.

4pm

Just one thing after another today. Helen’s on TV. Hallelujah. Something easy.

Sandra and Elaine even got into a fight during the staff meeting and Tori and I had to mediate. They eventually kissed and made up, though. 

Not literally.

Mr. Big’s head would explode.

I’m just glad the day is winding down. I feel like I said, “You are strong. You can do it,” about a million times today. 

I did my best.

I’m still Senior Resident here even if I don’t have the title–I’m everybody’s Mom.

Jolene is on furlough right now so that she can go to court to get a settlement for the case in which she was beaten severely on camera at an Acorn market, and nobody helped her. I hope they give her a lot of money. 

She deserves it.

I think I’ll read my Bible. Still on Isaiah. 

********MISSING PAGES************

That the things that happen to us when we’re little determine how the rest of our lives go.

That words, when used as weapons, are worse than anything that could happen physically to you, so be careful with them.

2:30pm

Parenting classes.

One of the new women, Diane, pulled me aside to talk when I got back from Crossroads, and told me that she had been informed today of her probable ovarian cancer.

I just listened, and held her while she cried.

It was awful.

She’s terrified.

And she has a nine-month old at home. 

Later, with her permission (actually, she asked me to), I shared with the group what was going on, and we all hugged her and cried with her. Better to spread the pain and struggle around than to have only one person bear it all.

***************MISSING SECTIONS*************

Tori: “I have to eat less! My underwear look like a thong, and they’re not a thong!”

I am realizing some things about Tori.

She’s endured far more emotional pain than I thought. 

Her first memory, ever, of life, is of being raped when she was four. 

Trauma as an introduction to the world. This is life, now go from here. How do you do that? Well, she did. Her courage and strength amazes me.

She just pointed toward Mr. Big’s name on her 8th Step amends work, but what I noticed is that first on her list is Brayden, her firstborn, who died in the womb at six months gestation.

Why on Earth would she blame herself for his death??!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m going to have to start at the very beginning with her! Trauma after trauma after trauma has built her life.

God, let me be her STOP sign. Girl, put the baseball bat down. Stop beating yourself up over what you had no control over.

10:30pm

God.

Jolene showed me pictures that her crooked lawyer’s helpful secretary slipped her of her face after the beating she took at the Acorn in 2012.

It’s so horrible to look at that dumb Jo, instead of being empathetic, was traumatized by the pictures, and kept repeating, “Jolene! Why would you show that to me! Now I’m never going to get THAT picture out of my head!”

Jo herself was beaten by a man so severely that it cracked her skull. She has an indent in her head still where he slammed her head onto a concrete floor as hard as he could.

I just wonder–why is no one empowering these women?

When is the abuse going to end??

Categories
Life Uncategorized

E-Porn, Isaiah, and dead babies

THE WOMEN’S CENTER

June 2nd, 2018

Saturday

Day 334

11:30am

Yay! I get to watch the E! Channel! It’s like my porn–it’s my guilty pleasure. Tori dyed my hair, and I’’m waiting to rinse it out–I can’t wait–I love getting my hair dyed–it always makes me feel better.

11pm

I felt like crap all day because of the weather, but on the way back from the meeting, we all sang songs, which made me feel better. 

Now Tori and I are watching some funny movie with Will Farrell and Kevin Hart about prison.

June/3/2018

Sunday

Day 335

2pm

We’re watching superhero movies on TNT. The last one was, “I Am Legend” with Will Smith. It’s good, except he has to strangle his own dog. Now “The Green Lantern is on. Fifteen minutes until my kids get here. I can’t wait. This movie is very strange.

8pm

Oh my–While I was visiting with my sponsor, Sandra decided that she was leaving–and left!! So then the police came and Mr. Big came and hauled her back here, saying it was her last chance before jail.

My, my, my.

Of course Big looked as hot as ever–grrrrrrrrrr…..I can’t stop thinking about him lately!

It’s Bad. 

Maybe Sandra has a crush on him too and just wanted to see him really bad.

Anyway, the visit with my kids went well. Tiger brought a jump rope with her, and jump-roped all around the dining room, and King told me that he had to go to the doctor for shoving a rock up his nose. I guess Jaxon was traumatized because there was so much blood, but Henry wasn’t particularly upset about it.

He’s had a history of putting things up his nose since he was small. Once I tweezed out a rubber band. 

Apparently the doctor looked in his nose, and did not think that it was in his sinuses. 

I sure hope not.

They’d need a CT scan to find that out, and I would imagine they’d have to sedate a four-year old to scan him.

Omg–there is this new show coming out where people get married first, and then get to know each other.

That sounds ridiculous.

Now we’re watching a show where some lunatic snatches a child because his former wife said that he raped her. Then he started living in a bunker underground with bombs all around it, and brings the kid with him. 

I guess it’s a true story, which is terrifying.

10pm

I guess Mr. Big was the one who stopped Sandra and made her come back to the Center. Kat says this is her last chance. Now her room is across from Big’s office.

Bed time.

June 4th, 2018

Monday

Day 336

7:30am

I got up at 5:30am today and took a shower and did my hair straight. Now we’re watching, “Say Yes to the Dress,” which makes me kind of sad.

I love weddings. I love getting married. The dress, the flowers, the music–everything.

12:30pm

On my way to Coudersport, reading my Bible again. Mr. Big thinks that this is one of the best quotes from the Bible: 

Isaiah 40:31: 

But those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles;

They shall run and not be weary;

They shall walk and not be faint.”

I guess I’ll read Isaiah.

5pm

Back at the Center–Ms. June is back. I guess rehab didn’t go so well for her. 

In any case, my doctor took X-rays of my shoulder and said that I have bone spurs and that she’s worried about a partial rotator cuff tear, so I need an MRI. The problem is that my insurance won’t pay for an MRI until I have at least six weeks of physical therapy, so that’s what I have to do for the next six weeks.

I guess my ex-brother-in-law called and want to discuss “housing options’ in case I don’t find a place before July 6th and have to stay with him for a while. I’d better call him, because he wants to move to New York, and I can’t leave the state.

June 5th, 2018

Tuesday

Day 337

8am

I talked to my ex-brother in law about NY, and he told me that he would be happy to stay in PA so that I would have a place to live, which is really generous of him.

12:30pm

TED Talk Brene Brown Vulnerability

Connection

Shame = Fear of Disconnection

Shame = I’m not good enough

Excruciating Vulnerability

Worthiness = Believed that they were worthy of a strong sense of love and belonging.

Whole-Hearted

What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful

Shame – Core – Vulnerability – birthplace – joy

We numb…everything.

Isaiah 40:31 “Though youths grow weary and tired, avid vigorous young men stumble badly. Yet those that wait for the Lord with gain new strength;

They will mount up with wings like eagles,

They will run and not be weary,

They will walk and not be faint.”

The woman in group gave a piece of paper with this on it highlighted in pink because when I was talking to another person about how her life would get better, and it reminded her of a Bible verse… * 🙂 *

2pm

Okay God, I get it. I walked into parenting class and sat down and got this 3 x 5 index card handed to me: “ I am open about sharing my religious and spiritual beliefs with my child.”

I have never spoken a word of the Gospel to my children. I thought I had the answers to everything.

NOPE.

I guess I’ll have to get on that.

June 6th, 2018

Day 338

8am

Time for Community. Tori might be leaving today. She doesn’t have anywhere to go. I don’t even think that she talked to the Big Boss about staying next door in the homeless people part of the building. I wrote her up a letter to read to the judge, so I hope it goes well for her. I also wrote Jolene up a reference letter to help her get Senior Resident, so I hope that goes well for her. She’s currently wearing a shirt that says, “New Balls Please.”

I have no idea what that means. The reading today is on avoiding self-pity. Brenda is currently stumbling through the second reading at a snail’s pace. 

Poor girl.

She doesn’t read very well.

Mr. Big hasn’t shown himself yet today…I wonder what he thought of my reference letter for Jolene. Jo has been bitching a lot lately about how much trouble she’s been in impotently. It’s super annoying. She got herself in the situation she’s in, and she’s still asking everyone for their pills!!

Sugar Momma told me the other day that she told staff about the drug seeking. I told her to, and I’m glad she did, because it’s got to stop! Just won’t let it die and be overwith!

Brenda is talking about how much she likes Family Guy. This is taking forever. Now Jo is bitching about how much stuff she has to do before tomorrow. 

Lord have mercy.

10am

I need to put in my resume at the Public Defender! Their paralegal retired! I didn’t even think of that! The Big Boss brought it up!

Great idea!

11am

Blech. Now my useless caseworker’s here.

1pm

Jolene is the new Senior Resident, and she’s desperately trying in vain to run a group on positive thinking. Oh good, Mr. Big took over.

  1. Start your day with cheers and smiles.
  2. Ask for guidance–pray! 

“Id rather have an enemy that slaps me in the face than a friend who stabs me in the back.” –Honesty

  1. Plan
  2. Set goals and prioritize
  3. Be detached from the outcome
  4. Try new things and challenges

“Worrying is paying a debt on a balance you may never owe.”

  1. Balance your desires
  2. Be realistic
  3. Keep track of your mental and physical health
  4. Love yourself
  5. Laugh
  6. Associate with positive people
  7. Make it a habit to ask questions
  8. Be open
  9. Trust in other people
  10. Learn from experience
  11. Count your blessings
  12. Kiss your worries goodbye
  13. Forgive and forget
  14. Keep a list of your goals and actions

Bible:

Isaiah:

“Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”

7:30pm

We’re on our way to my meeting and the AA meeting in Coudersport. The Resident Worker, Tammy, thought that it would be a good idea if everyone went to my grief group instead of the AA meeting. Unexpectedly, Tori started gushing tears and getting super upset at the thought of going to my group. She lost a baby, Brayden, at six months pregnant. I’m not sure how long ago that was. It made me realize how much pain she’s still in. I guess today in court, the judge asked her how many kids she had, and it was a real trigger for her. 

Bereaved parents never know what to say when they’re asked this question. There’s a song on the radio saying, “That which doesn’t kill me, will only make me stronger.” They don’t know whether to include the dead child along with their live ones, because when they do, it makes people uncomfortable, but when they don’t, it feels like a betrayal to the deceased child, negating their existence altogether.

I hope Tori knows how strong she is, and how much she is loved. She told me Brayden died eight years ago. That’s not very long. It is still fresh for her, an open wound.

8pm

Meeting–

This guy is talking about having his ego stroked and said, “Ask God to make me the kind of man my dog thinks I am.”

“You cannot shake a hand with a clenched fist.”

“I don’t let people walk through my mind with dirty feet.”

“And eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.”

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

–Ghandi

11pm

We got two new women today, one just a half an hour ago. I guess she’s in her room doing some non-stop jerky-movements. June demonstrated for me. Jolene just gave me a book titled “Forgive and Forget,” by Lewis B. Smedes. 

Hm.

It’s copyright 1984. Since we got this NEW woman just now, the staff sent us all to our rooms, so of course Tori and I and June played cards in the middle of the hallways sitting on the floor and singing songs. 

It was fun.

I love Tori so much.

She’s probably one of the best friends I’ve ever had. On the way home from the meeting, we talked about the children we lost, and how it has affected us.

It was good.

******************************************************************

Categories
Life Uncategorized

Cho-Mo’s, Witches, and Death

Women’s Center

August 28th, 2017

Monday

All my hair is falling out. Super annoying. I’m reading a book called “When the Bough Breaks: Forever After the Death of a Son or Daughter.” What about both? It’s by Judith R. Bernstein, Ph.D. She and her husband are both psychologists who lost their son at 25 to cancer. I wish my kids had lived long, healthy lives–even 25 seems very long compared to three and seven months.

I was supposed to go to Coudersport for bloodwork today, but the Big Boss didn’t put it on the schedule. Time for painting with Jenny–the same woman who does “church.” We’re watching Intervention.

1pm

Now I’m reading my book again. It’s pretty good. It says, “The bereaved parent has to come to terms with a world in which it is possible for children to die; a world of different hopes and dreams, a world of muted sunsets. The victim never sees life through the same lens again.”

Spot on.

I looked in the front of this book and saw the name of a local woman who lost a daughter to a suicide in jail. Horrific. She must have donated the book to the Center. I hope it helped her. I can’t imagine.

Judith Bernstein calls the “aftermath of the trauma of intense grief “a barren, inhospitable wasteland.” I like her. At least she is able to express herself without the uncontrollable rage that I experienced when writing my first book, “Kidowed.”

Then again, Ronald J. Knapp wrote in “Beyond Endurance” that, “It was discovered that all parents eventually develop a primary and fundamental need to talk about this tragic experience and about what they can remember about their child. They develop an intense desire or need to reveal their sadness, to release their anger, to allay their guilt, and to have others understand their reactions. This is not only how they remember; it is also how they confront the reality of what has happened to them.”

Judith Bernstein says, about conducting a study of 50 bereaved parents that, “I came away with profound admiration for the courage of ordinary people who never presumed to be courageous at all.”

Everybody’s bitchy now. Now there’s another new woman here. She looks to be in her 50’s and got in trouble for “boosting” electronics in Buffalo and a bad check in Potter County in 2004. I feel kind of bad for her. But not really because she only got 60 days. Some people have all the luck. Tori is passing around a note that says that she looks like a Cho-Mo version of Peter Griffin. Mean.

“When a child dies, the very ground on which we depend for stability heaves and quakes and the rightness and orderliness of our existence are destroyed. The loss of a child is shattering, unique among losses.”

One of the parents, Pauline, that was interviewed after losing a child wrote, “…I was angry at all of them [family], for something. I felt that they needed me, and I was annoyed that they needed me. I didn’t have anything to give; I was vacant; I was empty. I wasn’t sure that I was going to live.

8:30pm

I forgot to make my 12:40pm phone call, so I called my parent’s house and my mother answered. 

I said, “Any news?”

“No.”

“Are the boys in bed?”

“Yes.”

“What did they do today?”

“They were happy to stay home all day and they picked berries and played good and didn’t fight at all.”

“Um, okay…Bye.”

“Bye.”

Fucking Witch from Hell. She could at least try. God. 

The new lady seems to like it here. Of course, anything’s better than jail. They forget that after a while and then the bitching starts. I didn’t get to go to the meeting tonight, which sucks. There’s so many people here now that they have to pick and choose who can go because their stupid van only seats seven. Chantilly is making door signs. She’s very artsy. I forgot to give Tiger the bracelet I made her. I hope Dubya lets her come every week, but I know he won’t, so I’m filing a Modification of Custody motion tomorrow when I go get my bloodwork.