MUNCY STATE PRISON
December 26th, 2018
Wednesday
Oh no.
Ellen is heartbroken.
She came back from Commissary and Tom the CO thought she was smuggling in something, so he told her to unbutton her jacket. She did, and he said, “Oh, it’s just your stomach.”
What!!!!
She almost cried, poor girl.
She’s reliving it over and over. Time for us to diet! Too bad I got donut sticks. After those, we’ll diet.
She says her pride got flushed down the toilet.
Later–I don’t feel good today–I slept a lot. I got Commissary–yay!
“The Word Among Us” is about the prophet Stephen. “So turn to the [Holy] Spirit in prayer today. Ask him to help you, as he helped Stephen, to ive the life of joy, peace, and conviction that Stephen lived.”
“Beside the Still Waters” says, “Grace, dear Lord, grace Dear Lord, to sweetly obey Thy will; May self be slain, Thy will remain, O help me Thy law Fulfill.”
–Ross Minkler
The final thought of “God With Us” says, “…faith is not something you wait for like a letter in the mail. Rather, faith is something you step out on, like a bridge over a raging river.”
So, Ellen just heard this on the radio: This NASA engineer was tired of people stealing his Amazon packages, so he rigged fake packages with glitter and fart bombs.
Funny.
Now I’m reading, “Unmask the Predators: The Battle to Protect Your Child. It’s about a family whose daughter is victimized by somebody from their church, and a “story of triumph over tragedy.”
Hm.
Ellen and I are talking about how much we miss being touched. Even hugs and stuff. I’m terribly lonely.
“In America today an estimated 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused by the age of 18.”
That is horrifying.
“The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in the darkness like those long dead.”
–Psalm 143:3
Bedtime–Ellen and I have been talking for an hour about our pasts, God, the devil, and our future plans. She wants to be a motivational speaker and a drug and alcohol counselor!
I think that’s awesome.
December 27th, 2018
Thursday
We got eight new people on H Unit today. Ellen’s bonding with the new one across the hall–she’s Southern. Tiger’s birthday is tomorrow.
“The Word Among Us” is about how Jesus loves us like he loved the disciple John.
“Beside the Still Waters” is about knowing when to talk and knowing when to keep silent.
“Would men know you’ve been with Jesus? Can they feel His presence near? As with them you joy and labor, As with them you journey here?”
–Ernest Sellers
I’m going to read, “Autobiography of a Face” by Lucy Grealy. It’s about a woman who overcame cancer at a young age, but then had to have half of her jaw removed, and her life afterward.
Later–
Coach wrote me!!
Justine!!!
What a great gift you gave me for Christmas! I’m sorry I’m writing to you in prison, but I’m so blessed to hear from you and I know you are doing okay. You have been on a crazy road!
I remember finding you on Youtube–I think it was from Canada and hearing and feeling your words and your pain. I have not read Kidowed yet. I gave away my Kindle and haven’t gotten another yet. I was hoping to get a hard copy of it–and have you sign it! It sounds like I may have more opportunities for that. I love the title, “Putting the Shovel Down,” and I can’t wait to read it. You have a heartbreaking story, but an amazing gift. When you put them together, and put GOD first, you have a story that can change lives–you have a story that inspires–you have a story that shows Romans 8:28 in action– “And we know that in all things GOD works for the good for those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”
I also love the 50:20 rule. It refers to Genesis 50 verse 20. A long time ago, when Joseph was young, his brothers were going to kill him, but sold him to Egyptians. Through many twists and turns, Joseph ended up being the second man in Egypt. Time passed but he ended up being face to face with his brothers, and in Genesis 50:20 Joseph said, “You intended to harm me, but GOD intended it for good to accomplish what is being done, and the saving of many lives.”
Doesn’t that sound like you?
The enemy intended to harm you–to destroy you, but GOD is going to use all of it to save others.
Perhaps I should get wristbands that say 50:20 Rule, what do you think?
Are you okay now?
Do you have support–friends, family, money?
What can I do to help you through this?
Please ask and I’ll help if I can. We’re in this life together–plus, you’re amazing!
I’m not sure if you’ve run into any girls from Blair County Prison, but they may know me. Natalie comes to mind. Actually, she referred a girl to me from Potter County who wants to get out and help people with this addiction problem. She indicated the lack of help in her area–Potter County–Austin, PA–isn’t that where you are from? Do I remember the town Coudersport coming from your mouth?
The girl’s name is June and I just wrote to her a couple days ago. I sent her some info on Potter County and places to help.
I think so many agencies give good lip service to help, but I think it’s up to all of us to make a difference.
In talking about defeating the enemy, Revelation 12:11 says, “They overcame him (the enemy) by the blood of the Lamb (Jesus) and by the word of their testimony.
Our testimony is our story and we can all use our overcoming stories to defeat the evil in this world.
Do you notice I still talk too much?
All is well with me. Tess and I go to Cove [Forge] with women on Monday and I go on Wednesday with guys. I go to prison and Adephoi Village and wherever else the LORD leads. I don’t know whether I help or make a difference. I just want to get people to the LORD–He’s the one who can change hearts.
All I know is that I am so blessed to meet so many amazing people–like you!
I included a copy of my Bible Study notes from last week. Read through them and the Scriptures–see if you can figure it out!
I also hope you can read my writing!
A special thanks to Paul, who messaged me. Feel free to write or call anytime.
I’ve got to go for now. I talk a couple places tomorrow and need to get my head together.
Listen, you are a great blessing! I am so happy to hear from you. Again, let me know if I can help. I’ll walk with you as long as you want me to.
I’m sorry you’re in jail for Christmas, but Merry Christmas anyhow! It’s a time for new hope. Do you know that a new beginning always starts with a dead end?
Justine–believe!
We’re collecting socks for those in shelters so we put up a tree and decorated it with lights and socks.
Seems like the right thing.
I will be praying for you for sure.
God Bless your days!
LOVE ALWAYS!
Coach
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! New Beginnings!!!
My return letter:
12/27/18
Coach!
I have had an amazing day today–first you wrote me, and second–God put a woman in my life today that needed me and I helped her!
Her name is Laticia, and by God’s grace, we ended up sitting together at dinner tonight–she just got on H Unit, and is a couple cells down from me.
Her story is that she lost a baby in January of 2018 to pneumonia, and she is currently pregnant again. Her cellmate had told her to talk to me because she is having a very hard time with her grief, but she didn’t know who I was, and then we ended up sitting together out of 100 people in this Unit!
I was amazed.
We talked and talked, and we both cried and she felt better afterward. I told her about Kidowed and suggested that she journal her feelings.
Anyway, it turns out that she has no one to send her money, so I thought I would ask you–we have to pay for EVERYTHING here–even for basic necessities.
I even have to pay for my lupus meds.
Anyway, if you feel so inclined, can you help her with money? Her name is Laticia, and her number is #. If you want, you can send money to me too, but I have the basics right now.
Thank you!
Anyway, I am doing reasonably well, considering, and attending church and NA meetings regularly.
Thank you for including your Bible Study notes–I’ll be sure to do my homework!
I’ve read several spiritual books since I’ve been here, even Pope John Paul II’s book! I have a lot of time for reading, writing, meditation, and prayer.
I will probably be here until mid-February, then I get transferred to Quehanna and then rehab–I’m not sure where.
Then I have to do a halfway house, and then finally home.
The SIP program is 24 months long total.
Paul is working on sending Kidowed to publishers for me, so that it can be more widely distributed. Please say a prayer for me that somebody accepts it!
Thank you so much for your very uplifting letter–it made my day 🙂.
I think 50:20 Rule wristbands are a great idea.
I have some support–my mother and father have written and sent pictures of my kids, and Paul writes me. My ex-brother-in-law, Stryder, who called the police on me, has also written a couple times.
He said he was sorry, but I am having a hard time forgiving him.
It’s just so hard being away from my kids for so long for something so stupid.
Any advice?
My cellmate, Ellen, is smart and funny, and we get along great, thankfully.
I am from Coudersport, yes!
However, I do not know either of the women you were talking about.
I do know of several great meetings in Potter County, though–maybe I’ll look her up on FB when I get out.
And no, you don’t talk too much and yes (!!), you do make a difference!
You are a very moving speaker.
Thank you for watching my Youtube video–that was in 2012.
I don’t have money for the phone, but I’ll certainly write you! It takes about two weeks for your letters to reach me, because they have to go through Florida first.
I loved your sock tree idea, and the picture you drew–it made me laugh.
And I hope you had a wonderful Christmas–mine was good–there was a very nice Catholic Mass here with singing and bells and a good sermon.
I do believe that this is my new beginning–I have resolved to let the old depressed, self-pitying me go and start anew with a better outlook on life.
Certainly, meeting Laticia today was a sign from God, an opportunity to help someone. I talked to her a little bit about God, but she said that she doesn’t believe, although she did talk about her baby being in Heaven.
That made me sad, and I didn’t really know what to say.
Do you have any advice?
I want to help her in any way that I can, and her grief is about to be compounded, because this new baby is due in April, and she will have to give him to her mother. She got into drugs when her previous son died, and that kept her from grieving, so now she doesn’t know what to do with her feelings.
I told her talking about it is the first step, even if it is upsetting and makes her cry–it’s necessary to move through grief.
I’m going to try to get her to go to church with me, and the NA meetings offered here.
Let me know what you think!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing me, and for your prayers.
God Bless you!
Love,
Justine
Bible Study–Week of 12/10/18
Psalm 37:1-8
Of David
Fret not yourself because of evildoers;
Be not envious of wrongdoers!
For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb.
Trust in the LORD and do good;
Dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD,
And he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
Trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
And your justice as the noonday.
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him;
Fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,
Over the man who carries out evil devices!
Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!
Fret not yourself, it tends only to evil.
For the evildoers shall be cut off,
But those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land.”
See notes:
Do not’s: fret, worry, be angry
→ Trust in the LORD–God can handle it.
→ Do good –life is about choices.
→ Delight yourself–quiet time every day
→ Be still–wait patiently–do all you can do to relax
→ Bombarded with noise–news, blogs, social media–go to the Bible